So I was about to write a post about how I’m feeling a ton of what I’m calling “online anxiety”.
I am super into being worried about stuff in real life. It’s my favourite hobby, and usually involves worrying about how I’m coming across to other people, but recently I’ve noticed that this has extended to being online. A quick look at my timehop feature on Facebook tells me that I’ve never been shy about sharing my feelings online whether that be in a status I undoubtedly thought was hilarious in 2009 or an off colour tweet that got largely ignored, plus a few choice selfies to boot. I used to blog a lot too, lots of feelings got spilled online for my faceless Facebook friends to read and I even ran an online dating blog with a friend of mine that I didn’t mind people sharing around and having a good laugh at.
Only lately, I’ve not been so big on the oversharing. This isn’t a bad thing, in the past I’ve been too quick to say what I’m thinking or to reveal an embarrassing story about myself to people I don’t know very well, but I’ve found that it’s been really stunting this whole blogging thing.
I’ve thought about tons of things to blog about lately – politics, what I think about the new series of Twin Peaks, but before I can even pull a decent title together I’m already calling the whole thing off, pre-embarrassed by thoughts of people I don’t know – or maybe even worse that I do know – picking it apart and having a good laugh at my expense. It’s even extended to not wanting to write book reviews (though when I finish the book I’m currently reading you’re gonna hear about it cos it’s SO GOOD). But overall, not a cool feeling, and I was wondering if I’m not the only one that’s grown to feel that way about themselves online?
Only as soon as I got the whole thing down into a blog, I was like “oh I hope I’ll grow back some of that ‘fuck-it’ attitude soon” and I realised that I can stop giving a fuck right now. Literally this second. So I’m going to.
Thanks for wasting some revelatory time with me 🙂